Ever wondered why some parenting tips work for other kids but not yours? 

Our guide below will help you assess and understand your baby's unique temperament.

• Understand your child's temperament in simple terms.
• See how temperament affects your baby's sleep and daily activities.
• Get strategies and tips to tackle challenges.

9 temperament traits - Which ones match your baby, what do they mean and how can you respond?

Review our simple guides on the 9 temperament traits to get a better understanding about your child's need, and how you can best respond to them.

3 overall temperament types

Only 65% of children are thought to fall into one of the 3 overall temperament types identified by research. There is no true one-size-fits-all approach to understanding them.

The 3 overall temperament types

Only 65% of children are thought to fall into one of the 3 overall temperament types identified by research. There is no true one-size-fits-all approach to understanding them.

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The 9 temperament traits - which one's match your baby, what do they mean, and how can you respond?

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Activity

How energetic your child is in daily activities

High Activity

Young Babies: May seem restless and need frequent movement. Provide safe spaces for tummy time and interactive play.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Highly active children may hop from one activity to another and can seem restless. You’ll need to provide them with lots of movement opportunities. They have a lot of energy to burn.
  • If you are traveling, plan to take breaks from slow activities such as sitting in a car for a long time.
  • Allow them to have the time they need for outdoor activities and movement. Help them experience indoor movement-based activities such as dancing or an indoor obstacle course.
  • Model signs of feeling tired to your child, such as saying, “My leg hurts, I’m going to sit down for a minute.” You can also help them by verbalizing signs of tiredness you see in them, such as, “I see you’re slowing down - maybe you’re tired now, let’s sit down together.”

When it comes to sleep, children who have high activity levels might need longer time to wind down and relax into sleep. They may need longer bedtime routines to get them to unwind. Give them advance warning of bedtime and start winding down at least 30 minutes before to help them transition. Plan the bedtime routine to end with quiet relaxing activities in the dark - you can sing and cuddle quietly if your child enjoys that. An overtired child can also appear hyperactive - identify and implement the optimum bedtime and plan to start their bedtime routine with enough buffer time. It can take a few days to find the routines and times that work for your child, but it’s achievable by being attentive to their tiredness cues and following wake window/daily awake time guidelines.

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Low Activity

Young Babies: Prefer quieter activities like being held, looking at books, or gentle play with soft toys.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • These children might prefer quieter activities like reading or building blocks. They are more likely to be able to sit still during activities.
  • You can help by making sure these children have lots of opportunities to perform calm activities like blocks, and reading. Designate quiet areas around the house for them to relax and observe. Join and support them in playing with the things they enjoy. For example, you can enjoy low-intensity activities with your child - reading together, soothing music, etc.
  • Gently introduce your child to active play. At the playground, you can point to other kids and say, “The kids are running fast and chasing each other,” let them observe. Encourage them to participate in more active movement with you or other children, but don’t force them to.
  • These children might need time to transition between or in and out of activities. Let them take the breaks they want during the activities.

When it comes to sleep, these babies may enjoy calm and quiet sleep environments and bedtime routines. Incorporate gentle, calming activities into the bedtime routine. This can include reading a favorite story, singing lullabies, or giving a gentle massage. Maintain a consistent bedtime routine to provide a sense of security and predictability. This helps signal to your baby that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. These babies may need a bit more time to transition from one activity to another, so allow them to adjust without rushing.

Regularity

The predictability of biological functions such as sleep and hunger. This can indicate how predictable their schedule is everyday.

Regular

Young Babies: Accommodate their regular feeding and sleeping schedules. Ensure they feel secure with a routine nap and bedtime schedule.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Accommodate your child’s regular appetite by providing meals at the same time each day.
  • Try to provide your child with a routine nap schedule that they can feel secure with.
  • Give advance reminders to your child when the daily schedule will be disrupted.
  • Help your child learn to feel comfortable with unplanned interruptions in their schedule by labeling how it might make them feel: "I know it feels unexpected, let’s figure this out together."

When it comes to sleep, very regular children may wake up at the same time every day, eat at the same times every day, and take naps at the same time every day. And yes, some babies even poop at the same time every single day. Stick to their age-appropriate sleep schedules and bedtime routines. Try to keep these up as much as possible even during a day out or while traveling.

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Irregular

Young Babies: Adapt to their irregular feeding and sleeping patterns. Allow flexible nap/rest times based on their needs.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Biological functions such as sleep and hunger are irregular. Try to allow your child to nap or rest for shorter or longer than other children if it seems necessary.
  • Provide many opportunities for diaper changing or toileting.
  • If they get tired a little earlier, go with it and make time to rest. Or, if your child is not showing signs of being tired, let them stay up a little longer doing some quiet activities.

When it comes to sleep, these children may sleep and wake up at different times every day and nap for different lengths. You need to be a little more flexible with their sleep times and with the steps in their bedtime routines. However, children still need routines and a sense of schedule to know what comes next. At the toddler stage, children usually try to stall bedtime. So it can be tricky to know if they are just stalling or being irregular. Allow these children 15-20 minutes of flexibility in sleep times and routines before establishing boundaries.

Approachability

The initial response to new stimuli, such as people or environments. Do they react against new things or are ok to jump in? This only indicates their initial reaction and not their final decision.

Approachable

Young Babies: Encourage exploration in a safe environment and introduce them to new people at the pace they are comfortable with.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Approaching children are likely to jump right into new situations and adjust quickly and without trouble when changes occur. Parents can support these children by giving them opportunities to explore their environment and meet new people, like joining a playgroup or going to the park.
  • Encourage lots of social interaction. Children who love meeting new people flourish in social environments.
  • Be ready to assist when needed. Sociable children might still require help to resolve disputes or manage hurt feelings, ensuring their social experiences are positive and safe.
  • Look out for lots of enthusiasm. Sometimes, excitement around other children can be overwhelming for the other kids. Teach them to show enthusiasm in gentle ways, like sharing hugs and understanding what feels too rough.
  • Observe your child's cues. Even outgoing children have moments of hesitation or fear. Be there to offer extra support and reassurance.
  • Allow time for solo play. Independent play fosters creativity and self-reliance in your child.

When it comes to sleep, these children adapt quickly to new environments and routines, making transitions smoother. It can still be helpful to maintain a consistent bedtime routine to reinforce good sleep habits. Keep the routine predictable to signal that it's time for sleep. They may still get overstimulated by social or engaging activities before bedtime—ensure their wind-down routine includes calming activities to help them transition from playtime to bedtime.

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Withdraws

Young Babies: Be a safe base, introduce new people while holding them, and speak calmly.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Withdrawing children need extra time, understanding, and support in new or unfamiliar situations.
  • Be a safe home base. Introduce your child to new people while holding them, speaking calmly and reassuringly.
  • Encourage new people to approach slowly when interacting with your child. Provide them with your child's favorite toy or book to use as a bridge to connect.
  • Whenever possible, prepare your child for meeting new people ahead of time and allow plenty of time to acclimate to new places like a childcare center. Share details that will help them know what to expect and pique their interest: “We’re visiting a new friend’s house, and they have toys you can play with.”
  • Use children’s books and photographs to help your child anticipate new experiences. Stories about meeting new people or starting at a new school can help them understand what to expect. Showing pictures of the people they will meet can also make them feel more familiar.
  • Avoid labeling your child as “shy.” Labels can stick and aren't helpful. Instead, explain to others that your child prefers to take things slowly.

When it comes to sleep, allow these children some time to warm up to schedules and routines. For example, spend some time with them in a new room or crib before expecting them to sleep there on their own. Introduce new steps to bedtime routines slowly—give them warnings about what’s coming and talk them through it. It’s important to remember that their resistance is only the first reaction, and depending on other traits they may warm up to the new thing soon enough. These children may resist any sleep training method as they can resist anything new. Whichever method you choose, be prepared to commit 100% and try it for at least one week with consistency.

Adaptablility

The ease with which the child adjusts to changes or new situations, including their schedules and routines.

Adaptable

Young Babies: Adapt easily to changes in routine. Encourage exploration and introduce new experiences frequently.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Adaptable children are more likely to move smoothly from playtime to lunchtime to nap/bedtime, and you may not have much trouble getting them to move from one activity to another.
  • They tend to adapt well to various environments. They can nap in noisy restaurants, nurse wherever you happen to be, and, as they grow older, enjoy exploring their surroundings.
  • Encourage your child’s exploration by frequently introducing new experiences.
  • Reinforce their adaptability by praising how easily they adjust to new classmates and situations.
  • Help them understand transitions are happening by narrating upcoming changes.
  • Watch for signs that your child needs a break from new experiences. Children still need some routines. Maintain daily routines like eating, napping, and sleeping times to provide stability.

When it comes to sleep, adaptable babies typically adjust more easily to changes in their environment and routine. These children can handle transitions and changes with less resistance compared to slow-to-adapt babies. After a disruption or change, they tend to settle back into their routine faster. Even though they handle changes better, maintaining a consistent sleep routine can help them feel secure and ensure they get adequate rest. Allow them to have variety in their bedtime routines if they want. They may be more open to learning new sleep skills, and you can try to start putting these children down drowsy but awake from an early age.

Slow to Adapt

Young Babies: Need extra time and gentle transitions. Give many reminders before changes; they can still understand your expressions and tone of voice.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • These children may have a harder time moving from one activity to another. They may react very strongly to being told that playtime is over and may have a hard time with different transitions during the day. Although few children like to stop an activity they were enjoying, some children have much more difficulty with transitions.
  • Some children are mixed in their responses—they might adapt easily to new foods but struggle with new places, or be cautious around unfamiliar adults but comfortable with new peers. Given some time to adjust so they feel safe, at ease, and ready to explore. Give many reminders before transitions so they can be prepared.
  • They thrive on order and predictability to feel safe and secure. Stick to a regular daily routine to minimize confusion.
  • Avoid introducing too many new things at once. A new classmate or teacher might be intimidating, so handle these changes with sensitivity and give them time to warm up.
  • Allow your child to opt out of new experiences if they are having difficulty adjusting. Allow extra time for new experiences so they don’t feel rushed.
  • Let your child know you are there for comfort: “I know this is hard because it’s new. Do you want to play with your favorite blocks instead?”
  • Share your own feelings about new situations to help your child understand and manage their emotions.

When it comes to sleep, slow-to-adapt children need a lot of consistency in day-to-day routines. They like to know what comes next, and might prefer to stick to consistent activities. For example, reading only one book instead of three one night may lead to meltdowns. Limit setting and transitions can be challenging with slow-to-adapt children, so you will need to be prepared to have adequate buffer time allowing them to transition into bedtime activities. Allow your child to take transition objects into bed if it helps, such as a soft cuddle toy (although depending on their other traits, this could distract them more. You will have to test and see!). Holding down limits and remaining consistent in establishing boundaries can help reduce bedtime struggles with older toddlers.

Intensity

The intensity of emotional reactions, whether positive or negative.

Intense

Young Babies: Show strong reactions to stimuli. Provide physical comfort with soothing techniques like gentle music or rocking.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Children with strong reactions show their emotions powerfully, whether positive or negative. For example, they might have an intense meltdown if their favorite shirt is unavailable. It's essential to recognize that these reactions are part of their temperament and not deliberate drama.
  • These children often vocalize their feelings loudly and clearly. They may express happiness with squeals and anger with shouting or hitting.
  • Comfort the child when they are distressed with hugs, back rubs, or rocking. Use soothing techniques like gentle music, back rubbing, or soft singing. Communicate these methods with caregivers for consistency. Acknowledge their feelings verbally to show understanding. "I can see you're upset. Come here, let me hold you," or "Let’s listen to some soft music and take deep breaths together."
  • Enjoy moments of happiness together while also recognizing their sadness. Help them understand and manage their big feelings.
  • Demonstrate how to handle frustration by taking deep breaths and staying calm. "I’m feeling frustrated too, so I’m going to take some deep breaths."
  • Help children navigate strong emotions by describing their feelings and providing ways to calm down. For example, acknowledge their excitement and guide them to a calmer state. "I know it’s hard to wait for your turn. Let’s count to ten together."

When it comes to sleep, high-intensity babies can get very upset and protest a lot for their needs to be met. They might get very upset waking up between sleep cycles or waking up hungry. It can be hard for parents to leave them upset for longer than a few minutes. If they become overtired, longer time will be needed to soothe them to sleep. Watch out for sleepy and hunger cues and anticipate their needs as much as possible. Give yourself a break when needed and pace out any changes to their sleep or daytime routines, as it can be harder to stick to these efforts when your baby becomes very upset. If you decide to teach your baby independent sleep that involves some crying, be prepared for loud cries and to remain consistent with your chosen method.

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Mild or Moderate Intensity

Young Babies: React mildly to stimuli. Create quiet spaces and use gentle activities to engage them.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Children with low intensity react mildly to both positive and negative situations. Their reactions can be subtle, making it difficult to discern their emotions. There are things you can do to connect with low-intensity children, understand their subtle cues, and support their emotional development.
  • Sing and dance, engage in safe rough-and-tumble play, or read to them in a dramatic tone.
  • Because their reactions are subtle, help them identify their feelings. "I see you're frowning. Are you feeling sad because you couldn’t play with the toy?”
  • Validate their feelings as they experience them. "You feel upset because it's time to go outside, and you're not done with your puzzle."
  • Ask how they feel in the morning and share your own feelings to promote emotional awareness. Create a feelings chart with pictures to help them identify their emotions. "How are you feeling today? I'm feeling happy because it's sunny outside."

When it comes to sleep, your baby with mild or moderate intensity could be easier to put down drowsy but awake from the beginning. Your baby might fuss a little bit before falling asleep, and as they grow up you might find their protests to sleeping manageable. There is still a wide spectrum between low to moderate intensity. With this child, you can try to start as early as possible with putting them down drowsy but awake and encourage independent sleep skills from an early age.

Mood

The general tendency towards a more positive or negative mood

More Positive Mood

Young Babies: Enjoy quiet, happy moments. Engage in cheerful play and describe their feelings to them.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Reflect your child's cheerful mood to reinforce that it's a good emotion. "I see you're feeling really happy today!" or "You look so excited riding your tricycle!" Enjoy giggles and belly laughs together.
  • Even with a generally positive mood, discuss feelings of sadness, anger, or fear to normalize these emotions. "It's okay to feel sad sometimes. We all do."
  • Label emotional reactions to help develop emotional vocabulary. "You are smiling so much! You must really like the clapping!"
  • Ensure you check in with your child throughout the day, even when they appear cheerful.

When it comes to sleep, children with a more positive mood may get more playful at bedtime. It can take longer bedtime routines to get them into a more serious mood and wind down. Try to engage them in more calm activities in the time leading up to sleep to help them wind down.

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More Negative Mood

Young Babies: May appear more subdued but can still feel positive emotions. Accept their mood and provide comfort.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Children with a naturally negative mood may appear more subdued and less outwardly happy. Even though they may not directly express it, they can still feel positive emotions internally. It's important to accept that it's okay for children (and adults) to have a more subdued mood.
  • Allow your child to express themselves without pushing them to be happy. Understand that being thoughtful or serious is not the same as being angry. Reflect your child’s serious mood when appropriate to show that it’s okay to feel that way.
  • Help them label their emotions to encourage emotional vocabulary. "Your face tells me you’re upset. Did you not like that game?”
  • Allow your child to skip an activity if they are getting upset. Give your child time to observe before joining activities.
  • Notice and acknowledge subtle signs of engagement or joy, like raised eyebrows or bright eyes. "I see your eyes light up when you hear that sound."

When it comes to sleep, children with a more serious mood can be cautious and careful. They may need some time to get comfortable with changes to their bedtime routines and might display more dissatisfaction with changes related to sleep. For older toddlers, give them choices and allow them to have some control over routines and activities related to sleep.

Distractibility

The ease with which external stimuli can distract the child, such as people, colors and noises.

More Distractible

Young Babies: Easily distracted by stimuli. Create a calm environment for them with limited distractions.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • These children may quickly shift their attention from one thing to another. They might struggle to focus in busy or loud environments and may need adult support to stay on task.
  • Choose quiet, calm places for activities, and turn off unnecessary background noise to limit distractions.
  • Help your child identify when they are overstimulated by sharing your own experiences. "The music is making it hard for me to cook. I'll turn it off to focus."
  • Identify and label when your child shows signs of distraction or overstimulation. Acknowledge they are distracted and guide them back to the task. "I see you're looking away from the puzzle. Let's put in one more piece."
  • Use simple, step-by-step instructions. "First put on your shoes. Then, you can put on your coat."
  • Simplify decision-making by offering limited options, such as 2-3 toys to choose from.
  • Engage in play that follows your child’s interests, and be flexible with the duration.

When it comes to sleep, children who are more distractible might need more time to get through bedtime routines. For example, they might notice a lot of different things on their books that might not stand out to others, or become easily distracted by things in their environment. If you give them instructions about steps in their bedtime routine, do this by stating one step at a time.

They may take a longer time to fall asleep because they notice more things around them. It can help to keep their sleep environment free from unwanted distractions and keep the room dark. If necessary, add more time to their wind-down routines.

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Not Easily Distractible

Young Babies: Focus intensely on tasks. Provide them with varied activities to help them get varied experiences.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • These children can focus intensely on a task, often tuning out surrounding noise and activity. While they excel at staying on task, they may also fixate on negative emotions. Supporting these children involves providing tools to manage their focus and emotions.
  • Allow longer periods for activities they enjoy.
  • Prepare them for transitions with frequent reminders. "It's almost time for lunch. We have about five minutes left for playtime." Use various methods like picture cards, a gentle tap, an alarm, or a transition song.
  • Take joy in the opportunity for focused, uninterrupted time together. Use this time to explore and share laughter.

When it comes to sleep, less distractible children have a higher capacity for sustained attention and focus on their sleep routines and environment. Creating a calm and consistent bedtime routine is still beneficial to signal that it’s time to wind down. Be flexible with the duration of activities leading up to bedtime if they become deeply engaged. Plan to have calm rather than stimulating activities before bed. In order to learn independent sleep skills, these children need you to display a lot of consistency.

Persistence

The duration the child can maintain an activity and their ability to stick to a task even when challenging.

Long Persistence

Young Babies: Remain focused on tasks and may need little adult assistance. Encourage their independence but also check in for support.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • They are determined to complete tasks and practice skills, such as riding a bike. They tend to tolerate frustration and are determined to perfect their skills.
  • Persistent children may play alone for long periods but still need your attention and time. Let them know it’s okay to seek help. "Everyone needs help sometimes, and I'm here for you."
  • Offer activities that are difficult but achievable to stretch their skills. "Can you build the tallest tower with these boxes?"
  • Praise their hard work and describe their achievements. "You stacked two blocks, your tower is growing."
  • Provide activities that challenge their abilities. "You’re doing great with the four-piece puzzle. Want to try the new animal puzzle with more pieces?"
  • Ensure they don't become too frustrated and encourage emotional vocabulary. "You’re working hard on this puzzle for a long time. How are you feeling?"

When it comes to sleep, it can be harder to get their cooperation if they set their mind against something—refusing new steps in the bedtime routine, refusing to go to bed altogether. They can stay upset longer and not take no for an answer. It will likely take more time, consistency, and patience from you to implement any changes or interventions related to sleep. The key to success will be to remain more persistent than your child—set firm limits, stick to them, and remain consistent.

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Short Persistence

Young Babies: Easily frustrated and may move on quickly. Provide encouragement and break tasks into smaller, manageable parts.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Children with low persistence often move on to something else when they find tasks difficult. They may become easily frustrated or overwhelmed and may ask for adult assistance quickly. It's important to help these children manage their emotions and work through challenges.
  • Acknowledge their feelings and coach them through solutions. "Puzzles are hard! It makes you mad when the bear won't fit. Let's try it this way.”
  • Lighten the mood with humor to reduce tension. "You silly block! You just won't stay on the tower! Well, we're not giving up!"
  • Cheer on their efforts. "You scooted so close to the toy! You're almost there!"
  • Provide tasks they have already mastered to build confidence.
  • Help them label their emotions. "You are stomping your feet and tightening your fists. Are you feeling angry that your tower fell down?"
  • Help these children learn to wait. While they wait, explain what you are doing and try to engage them. "I'm heating up your bottle right now. I'll help you with the toy in a minute."
  • Make sure they know you're available to help and support them by checking in and letting them know they can ask for your help.

When it comes to sleep, babies with short persistence might recover from upset emotions at a fast pace. They will likely not complain for very long and might accept new routines and changes to their sleep environment if you stay consistent. With short persistence babies, you can expect them to recover from crying due to sleep interventions at a faster rate than babies with long persistence. There is also a wide spectrum of persistence levels; you will need to try and see what works best for you and your baby.

Sensitivity

The intensity of stimulus that makes them respond - intensity of noises, emotions, temperature, textures etc.

High Sensitivity

Young Babies: React strongly to stimuli like loud noises or bright lights. Provide comfortable clothing and quiet, cozy moments.

Older Infants & Toddlers

• • Children who are highly sensitive react strongly to their environment. They may be disturbed by loud noises or bright lights and react to stimuli that others might not notice.
  • Help them find quiet spaces in noisy or bright settings.
  • Prepare them for sensory experiences. For example, let them know when you are about to touch them. "I am going to pick you up gently now so we can put on a fresh diaper."
  • Provide sensory materials in sealed bags and tools to explore new textures at their own pace, like tongs or paint brushes.
  • Respond to signs of overwhelm and suggest a quiet activity to help them manage their emotions. For example, "Would you like to read a book or sit in a quiet spot?" or "It's okay to feel upset by the noise. Let's find a quieter spot."

When it comes to sleep, babies with high sensitivity need a quiet and comfortable environment. They will struggle to sleep in a room full of people or with loud noises and light. Some babies might even be sensitive to the environment temperature and the texture of their clothes. They take in a lot from their environment and might need extra time to wind down during bedtime routines. It can take some time for you to understand what upsets your sensitive baby if the stimulus varies day to day. Remaining consistent with bedtime routines and the sleep environment can help with this.

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Low to Medium Sensitivity

Young Babies: Not easily bothered by subtle stimuli. You can try to engage them in loud activities and provide them sensory-rich experiences.

Older Infants & Toddlers:

• • Children with low sensitivity are not easily bothered by subtle stimuli like sounds or textures. Their reactions to being hurt or bothered may be less pronounced, so parents need to be more attentive to their needs.
  • Enjoy singing loudly and dancing to music together. Read stories with a funny, dramatic voice to engage them.
  • Use bubbles, sand, water, sandpaper, or feathers for fun, sensory-rich experiences.
  • Label and describe their sensory experiences to help them understand. “The water must feel cold feel on your hands?"
  • Even though they can tolerate a lot, check in to ensure they aren't overwhelmed.
  • Offer different kinds of foods for them to experience.
  • Be attentive to signs of pain or discomfort, as they may not react strongly when hurt or sick.

When it comes to sleep, these children are less likely to be disturbed by noises, lights, or minor discomforts. While they may not need as much control over their sleep environment, ensuring consistency can still promote better sleep. Provide them with consistent bedtime routines, a comfortable sleep environment, and minimal distractions during bedtime to promote healthy sleep habits.

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Sources

1. The well-known New York Longitudinal Study lasted for several decades (1956-1988) and found 9 temperamental traits that can be commonly identified in young children.

2. Temperament: Theory and Practice by S. Chess and A. Thomas

3. Your Child Is A Person: A Psychological Approach To Childhood Without Guilt. The Viking Press, New York: 1965

4. Temperament and development - Mary.K Rothbart, 1965

5. The Origin of personality by S. Chess, A. Thomas and H.G.Birch

6. Research progress in the relation between infant temperament and sleep, Advances in Social Science, Education and Humanities Research, volume 223